Tommy's Wired and Mommy's Tired by Rita Bergen

Author:Rita Bergen [Bergen, Rita]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Family & Relationships/Parenting
Publisher: Elm Hill
Published: 2020-01-30T00:00:00+00:00

Eighteen

Silver Linings

Our Bergen family had finally settled into a calmer phase with routines. Now nearly five years old, Charlie was heavily into building “stuff,” which kept him occupied and somewhat calm for stretches of time; John had been a quick study at reading, so his nose pointed book-ward for hours a day; and our little toddler, Joy, had not reached the strong-willed two-year-old stage yet. In addition, a young, single career woman rented one of our extra bedrooms, and since she loved to play with our kids, her presence added extra peace to our household. Grateful for the calm while she played with the children, I relaxed on our sofa, vastly pregnant. Thankful.

And unaware it was the eye of a storm.

In October baby Grace arrived, bringing all the needs of a newborn into our home. A week after Grace’s birth, Joy turned two and asserted her will, strongly. Three months later we hosted a homeless lady and her son. We agreed to two weeks, but it morphed into five months. Though Charlie and John did gain a fun ten-year-old playmate, sibling rivalry soon took over, and our boys became jealous and competitive over their new friend.

Our household took on new realities: two extra ladies, an extra boy, two fighting sons, a testy two-year-old daughter, and a new baby girl. It was a new surge in the storm of life.

Yet in those months, a silver lining emerged from the dark clouds. The homeless lady took a liking to Charlie and raved over his Lego creations. With her encouragement, Charlie built an airport complex and entered it in a contest at the local department store. He won first prize—a fifty-dollar Lego Space Station.

That prize became Charlie’s pride and joy, and winning the contest was a great boost to his self-confidence. The storm had brought a lady into Charlie’s life who could validate his creativity with enthusiasm and encouragement. It was a wonderful silver lining, and I was grateful!

Have you ever faced excruciating days with hourly challenges? Are you in a challenging period right now? One that seems never-ending? The good news is most family-life storms pass or change. Babies grow into children who can walk to the car and strap on their own seat belts. Toddlers grow into school-age kids who can dress and feed themselves. While you wait for the storms to pass, look for the silver linings that will help you focus your thoughts on gratitude.

Did you know that research has documented many benefits from gratitude? “Be thankful” isn’t just a saying. It’s scientifically verified. As stated in a Harvard Mental Health Newsletter, “Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”17

Research has demonstrated many benefits of gratitude,18 such as the following:

• Improved physical and psychological health

• Enhanced sleep

• Increased self-esteem

• Reduced retaliation

• Enhanced sympathy

• Improved relationships

• Resilience from trauma (as in resilience from a colicky baby—or a cyclone!)

You can’t go wrong with gratitude. So make that mental decision and choose to focus on some positive elements in any given situation.

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